The only thing I'm sure of is that both things can be true

If you’ve had any amount of real conversation with me, you will have heard me say this: Both things can be true.

It’s a concept that I had to start wrapping my head around when I became a mother and the range of emotions and experiences was making my head spin. How was it possible that I could love my babies so much and want absolutely nothing to do with them in that moment? How could the role of mother be simultaneously so rewarding and so exhausting?

Eventually I had to embrace contradiction and settle in a place of uncertainty and murkiness, where both things were true. And once I accepted that, I became to embrace the contradictions and nuances all around me.

That good people can do bad things.
That bad people can do good things.
That people can be acting with the best of intentions and still do irreparable harm.
That something can be your responsibility, without being your fault.
That you can be nice, without being kind.

That all seems counter-intuitive — and surely the point of the truth is that there is only one, right? That’s what evangelical christianity taught me, and that black-and-white this-or-that model has influenced so much of our culture, politics, and society as a whole.

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Can we just not? (And I'm not calming down.)

I find myself sitting at the bar, again. Staring at a blinking cursor and blank screen, again.

Because there is so much that I want to say, and it all tries to come pouring out at once. And in the cacophony of thoughts, it’s tough to pull the clarity out. But I’m here, and I’m trying.

We have two days left until Election Day here in Canada, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit scared.

Not because I think that a new party will come into power and everything will suddenly change because that’s not it…I’m afraid of the division, and what we are giving voice to in our country.

I’ve been pretty vocal about my desire for a progressive government, specifically throwing my support behind Jagmeet Singh and the New Democrats.

Yes, I think Jagmeet is the most sincere of the leaders (well, and Elizabeth May…I love her!) and the NDP platform speaks to a lot of the struggles that I’m facing as a millennial, a parent, a woman, and [insert demographic descriptor of choice here].

But more than that, the NDP platform is one that’s rooted in inclusivity. In hope. In taking care of each other. And I care about that, a lot. A lot a lot.

Now. I haven’t always been a left side supporter.

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A story about privilege, mental illness, and why I'm voting NDP

It's no secret that I struggled with a nasty bout of postpartum depression and anxiety after baby two.

It's taken me a couple years to unpack everything that went on — and while some of that unpacking has been done publicly, the majority of it is done privately.

That process led me to examine not only my experience with mental illness and addiction, but to reflect on how things could have gone differently if I were someone else. It does all the time.

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It's Monday Again! Funny how that happens.

I am going to start this post with a major brag/celebration. A bold move for a Monday morning, I know, but let's do it. 

It is currently 7:15am and I have daycare lunches packed and ready to go, the kitchen is not in a state unfit for the general population, and the kids are having an actual food breakfast. Oh, and I have coffee. All of the winning.

To those with the untrained eye and ear, that just sounds like providing the basics of parenting - alive and fed.

But. Getting out the door in the morning with kids is like facing a walk across an expansive field... that's full of barbed wire.

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It's Monday Morning And I Need Coffee To Function

It's Monday morning - the morning that always holds the most possibility for me. And, it's a particularly sweet Monday because it is 7:22am and my kids are still sleeping.

 I know -- the moms out there just had a chill. Like DONT SAY IT AND TEMPT FATE!

But I did, and I shit you not - the toddler just started making noise. Crap. 

I'm going to cross my fingers and persist...because I found myself with a moment of choice this morning. I wanted to make coffee (crap. now the baby is up too.)

I WILL PERSIST AND WRITE A BLOG POST. 

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I'm all about making things easier to do

One of the biggest takeaways I've gotten from working + momming is that if I can do it from my phone, I can do anything.

It reduces friction in the process, which makes things easier to do. Theoretically.

I've discovered that Squarespace has a blogging app. I'm so excited. I no longer have to lug my computer around to blog, and it means that I can write around babies.

I'M SO EXCITED.

Of course it means you (reader, whoever you are) will be subject to much more verbal vomit.

I hope you're excited too.

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