If you’ve had any amount of real conversation with me, you will have heard me say this: Both things can be true.
It’s a concept that I had to start wrapping my head around when I became a mother and the range of emotions and experiences was making my head spin. How was it possible that I could love my babies so much and want absolutely nothing to do with them in that moment? How could the role of mother be simultaneously so rewarding and so exhausting?
Eventually I had to embrace contradiction and settle in a place of uncertainty and murkiness, where both things were true. And once I accepted that, I became to embrace the contradictions and nuances all around me.
That good people can do bad things.
That bad people can do good things.
That people can be acting with the best of intentions and still do irreparable harm.
That something can be your responsibility, without being your fault.
That you can be nice, without being kind.
That all seems counter-intuitive — and surely the point of the truth is that there is only one, right? That’s what evangelical christianity taught me, and that black-and-white this-or-that model has influenced so much of our culture, politics, and society as a whole.Read More